I had a good workout... yoga and belly dancing. Prayed for a while. Had some pasta...aka fancy Ramen lol
I am trying to not rush or freak myself out with having to get all my stuff together etc... I figure I'll just put some music on and start with clothes then go from there. I cannot WAIT for the cool weather to come. At least upper 60s would be better than horrid, humid 80s and 90s.
I cant wait to have gym access again. I can go early after I take Alex to the bus in the mornings. It will speed up getting where I want to be for sure... I love treadmills.
So today I am moving in with my Father... where my son lives. I had been keeping a room nearby, trying to get things worked out in my life. But the living situation I am in is less than ideal. The man I rented a room from, after realizing I would never date him or have any sort of interaction with him behind verbal communication, does not want me to stay here anymore....
I was extremely stressed out and worried about this situation. And thankfully my father offered for me to come back there until my boyfriend, who is wonderful, buys a property (Which he is working on).
I have been finding a lot of peace and strength in my yoga and in dance. Belly dancing being a recent venture, I have discovered a natural talent for the practice. And have found ways to incorporate it into my yoga practice.
Aside from the inner benefits, it has many physical benefits as well. And I am currently trying to regain the shape I used to be in. I had a bad accident in Texas, a horse related accident. And probably gained 20 lbs since then. While everyone tells me I look fine, and my BMI is normal... I feel like a different person. So for myself inside and out, I am focused on fixing this.
I feel I need to find friends here in Florida.. but I know few people. And the people I know here, from my past, are less than ideal suitors for friendship. Based on their life situations right now.
If anyone is in FL (Orlando area) and would like to make friends, meet up, let me know. I am more than willing to teach you yoga, to have a friend to practice with.
So much has changed over this adventure I took myself on....Everything but me... through it all, I lost so much because I refused to be any more than what I am. I did adapt the courage to go ahead and love everything I love without needing to explain it to anyone...
I realized in all this, if I want to pray to the trees and practice yoga in the morning.. then spend the afternoon at the range shooting assault rifles.. that is ok. Because that is how my life works..
If I want to go without so much as a date from a man forever or a year... then that's what worked for me.
There was no book or television personality who could possibly have kept up with, and resolved, all of the dramatics that took place... and I chose to let it all slip away quietly, att least on my part, and quickly... Otherwise it would be like playing with a thunder storm with a swimming pool full of toasters.
But now, even in the midst of even more termoil and drama... at a stage in my life where it seems like there is nowhere to go but down... I am still finding strength in myself to let things happen the way they will.. and trying my hardest to keep myself and the events that take place in perspective.
And there are days when it is harder than anything I have ever tried to endure..
